This flower needs tending by R

The morning starts as usual, us oversleeping and missing the boat to a neighbouring island for camping with friends. We are woken by friends calling to question where we are and laughing when we groggily answer asleep.

Anyway, after us rushing getting in the nick of time to see the boat depart, we book tickets for the next boat which is 2 hours later. This is taken as an opportunity to have a big breakfast and spend quality time together before catching the next boat.

While at breakfast, I feel awkward and theres almost this bad smell in the air. I know he’s none the wiser but there has been something on my mind for weeks.

Now, usually I would just keep quiet and maybe (definitely) been distant, shut off and plainly cold.

Buty not with Jack, he sees through me and I dont want to handle this like everything else in my life. I want to evolve. And god knows, with how I was feeling adding alcohol would not have gone well while camping.

Talking about feelings is not my strong suit, like ever! So I start with the analogy I learnt earlier in the week by Matthew Hussey on Lewis Howes. In a relationship we alternate between being the flower and the gardener. The gardener tends to the flower when they need encouragement, support and care. Relationships are similar, we can’t be the flower or the Gardner all of the time. The roles are shared.

So, I share the analogy and explain how I have felt like the Gardner for a few weeks and due to our working schedules we never see each other. I can’t be the Gardner all of the time. I start to ramble about its going into business together and the channel is taking over his mind etc etc etc.

I am proud of my self because, firstly I spoke about how I wasn’t feeling happy and secondly I didnt burst into tears, YES, talking is hard.

There’s silence…

Jack stares at me. He reaches over and hugs me and says he is so sorry, he hates that I felt that way. We talk about how the self-employed business took up all of his energy and thoughts as he wants to reach our goal. That he felt the relationship was so secure and safe that he could put his all to the dream.

We spoke so much that we nearly missed the next boat. Luckily we caught it. Got to Sark (thats the neighbouring island), and felt all our worries melt away.

Back to our old selves, we tried to push each other into bushes and poo, jumped on each other and had a stubborn match sitting in the rain eating hot dogs.

This flower certainly got tendered to.